Well it's Spring and 'tis the season for renewal and rebirth. Of course what better to represent than with this insect beginning its life as a caterpillar and then making its metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly.
I sort of feel like I'm stuck in a cocoon right now beginning to emerge as a renewed self. It's been quite an interesting past month. I broke and split open my nose in a diabetes related incident. I woke up one night with an incredibly low blood sugar. then proceeded to lose consciousness and have a seizure. Upon having this I fell and hit my face on the door frame and damaged my nose. This is not easy for me to think of or write about, but it isn't something I can just put aside and ignore (which I have done at times in the past). I've been a type 1, insulin dependent diabetic for 23 years now. Having it certainly includes some ups and downs, but regardless it's made me who I am for better and for worse. It was a painful lesson for me to learn not to take my diabetes for granted by any means, and to learn from this to improve my discipline and outlook towards it. I plan to live a long life with this and be as healthy as possible.
Luckily I have a wonderful person in my life to help me when I need it. I am now a married man, and am proud to say feels quite good. My wife and I are a true yin and yang relationship, as she is everything that I am not. This helps us compliment each other quite well. She's taught me to challenge my beliefs and outlook on life constantly and I believe I've grown tremendously from being with her. I am one who truly believes everything happens for a reason, and me meeting Sarah was meant to be.
I feel there's a more spiritual side developing in me as well. I've long been known by some to be a staunch atheist, but I'm beginning to wonder if times are changing. This does not by any means translate as me being a "born-again", in fact I do not and will never have any religious affiliation. Even through my years as an atheist, I held the belief that there was more to life than what we see, and that there was more to life after "death". Now this is what I believe or would like to believe, but ultimately I don't know what will happen at death and if a "god" will be there to greet me, and quite frankly nobody does. To clarify though, I'm not totally sure what I believe yet, but it's developing and more than anything I'm learning the benefits of having a spiritual side. Maybe this whole life as we know it is the caterpillar and cocoon stage, and once we "pass", our spirit is the butterfly?